Santa-Banta

[megrisoft]

Santa came to Banta's house and asked Banta, "Agar tu mughe ye bataa de ki, mere is tokari me kya hai, to sare ke sare ande tere.
Agar tu mughe ye bataa de ki, isme kitne hai, to 8 ke 8 ande tere.
Agar tu mughe ye bataa de ki, yeh sabhi kiske hai, to woh murgi bhi teri."

At this Banta became very confused and said, "Oye yaar, barra mushkil sawal hai, koi hint to de de!"

Megri Jokes (http://megri.com/jokes/)

[Guju_Gangster]

Santa came to Banta's house and asked Banta, "Agar tu mughe ye bataa de ki, mere is tokari me kya hai, to sare ke sare ande tere.
Agar tu mughe ye bataa de ki, isme kitne hai, to 8 ke 8 ande tere.
Agar tu mughe ye bataa de ki, yeh sabhi kiske hai, to woh murgi bhi teri."

At this Banta became very confused and said, "Oye yaar, barra mushkil sawal hai, koi hint to de de!"

Megri Jokes (http://megri.com/jokes/)

Hey Megrisoft arn't you sikh your self? how do you and other sikhs you know feel about joks about sikhs? :D :D

[megrisoft]

These jokes are only for fun. Its people point of view that these jokes are related to the religions. There are many jokes of Hindu religion also. Have you ever tried to stop those jokes ?

[Guju_Gangster]

These jokes are only for fun. Its people point of view that these jokes are related to the religions. There are many jokes of Hindu religion also. Have you ever tried to stop those jokes ?
No. as they are only jokes.

[India1989]

Yeah jokes shouldn't be taken seriously. GUjju-gangstar do you know that how many jokes are done about Indians as whole.

Ok I went to a Pakistani forum and saw this

Round up all Indian Hindus.

Next classify all Indian Hindus into Extremist or Peaceful .... separate according to this category and also according to gender. Other Religious Groups are free to continue life as it was.

Round up all Indian Hindu Extremist men into pig stys and then kill them by burying their lower half into the ground and throwing stones at them till they die.

Now make all Indian Hindu women marry some good Muslims who will treat them respectfully and teach them about Islam so if they do convert they do so willingly.
Or turn them into Lower Class sweepers and menial labourers so that they gain an invaluable lesson on how they treated Dalits and other backward classes.

Peaceful Hindus are free to go and takeover all Property and Money of Extremist Hindus.

Pakistani Muslims can know come and settle or invest in India.

And this is how Pakistan should acquire Akhund Bharat.

P.S. Of course there is the hard way in case some Hindu Extremist don't co-operate where we simply nuke 'em.

[Monalisa]

Doctor Santa fall in loves with a nurse. He write a letter to the nurse. I love you sister. :)

[megrisoft]

Nice Joke. :)
Plz post some more Santa- Banta's joke.

[Monalisa]

:D 1. A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan,but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai" ( "he picks up the receiver and then says he is not at home" )
2. This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
3. Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"

[arti]

Nice joke,Monalisa,
Keep on posting jokes like above and make us laugh :D

[Monalisa]

Sardarji ( to doctor ) : 'Doctor, I have a problem.'
Doctor : 'What's your problem?'
Sardarji : 'I keep forgetting things.'
Doctor : 'Since when do you have this problem?'
Sardarji : 'What problem?' :D

[megrisoft]

ha ha ha :)

[Monalisa]

:D There was a Japanese man who went to India for sightseeing. On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver Banta Singh to drive to the Airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. There upon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!."
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi, again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"
And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"
Banta was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. The Japanese exclaimed, "What?? ... so expensive!"
There upon, Banta yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in India!" :D :D

[megrisoft]

nice 1.

one from me its not about santa banta:

Son : have you ever been to Egypt?

Father : No.

Son :Then where did you get mummy from???? :)

[Neeta]

I read your jocks that is too funny, i forgotten my work and smiling contineously.Very nice, keep on posting.

[Monalisa]

:D Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied ;Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... :confused: and at last I wrote THUNK !!!

[priya]

Banta seeshe agge baith ke padri kar riha si,(kise ne poocha sheeshe ke agge kyu pad rahe ho, Banta bola naal naal revision ho rahi hai.

[India1989]

those were fantastic jokes. great jokes. i like the made in India jokes.

[Monalisa]

:D The Sardarji doctor was so afraid of bacteria, that he cooked his ice-cubes before he put them in his drink.
http://www.vgchat.com/images/smilies/bounce3.gif http://www.vgchat.com/images/smilies/bounce3.gif

[priya]

;) Very nice monalisa,
now a joke from me

A pandit was going to mandir and and a sparrow shit on his head and pandit says"he bhagvaan ye kya kiya"to bhagvaan bola maine kya kiya maine to bus thora sa sunscream lotion lagaya hai.

[Monalisa]

Ha :D :D :D :D Very nice

Here is one for You

Banta Singh: "Yaar Santa, last year the name-plate outside your house read Santa Singh, B.A. This year it reads Santa Singh, M.A.When did you finish your Masters Degree?"
Santa Singh: "You don't understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate Bachelor Again. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is Married Again."

[priya]

Very good joke now

3 jokes from me for u

Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I`ve seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

NOBODY like U, NOBODY cares for U, NOBODY misses U, NOBODY wants to see U , NOBODY is Ur best friend, NOBODY is happy with U...Dont cry!!! My name is NOBODY

Life without you is impossible. You are in my breath and blood. I can`t stay for a second without you. If you are not there I am dead. Oh Helloooo I am talking about oxygen.

[manu]

A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seat mate. "I've got a great policeman joke. Would you like to hear it?"

"I should let you know first that I am a policeman."

"That's OK. I'll tell it really slow!"

[priya]

Santa Banta jokes

1)
Santa: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Doctor: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Santa: Phone karte waqt. :p

2)
Santa Teacher: What is the chemical formula 4 water?
Banta Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Santa Teacher: what r u talking?
Banta Student: sir, yesterday u said it is H to O!! :D

3)
Santa singh: Can u spell a word tht has more thn 1000 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office. :eek:

4)
Santa singh enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode. Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife askes Why are you doing this?
Santa replies: Doctor told me to check the sugar level regularly !! ;)

[manu]

Nice one.... :D :D :D

I like Santa and Banta jokes & I am waiting for more.

[Yudhister]

nice jokes priya .....

[renu]

here is the simplest joke.............

A SARDAAR JI HAS JUST WRITTEN A BOOK ON "how to read a book''.!!!!!!

[India1989]

Nice jokes people. Keep posting more jokes. Let me tell you one joke.

In India Pakistan border there was Santa Singh in the army guarding the border. One day he thought of going on a rampage and kill Pakistani soldiers. So he thought of a tactic. He called names. He said Arfan Khan. then the guy said "ji haan". BANG he was shot by Santa. Then he called another name and when he stood up he was shoot. So this way he almost wiped out all of the army in that division. So left was the general and he decided to use Santa's technique to kill Santa. So he called "SANTA". Santa said "Oye kaun bulaya mujhe?".
"Mein" said the general. THen "BANG"

[alpha]

Q: Why did the Santa take a pair binoculars with him to a funeral?
A: It was a distant relative's funeral.

Santa, one day is at the railway station.He asks one man
"When will Rajdhani Express go from here"?
Man Replies 12.30.
"When will Punjab Express go from here"?
Man Replies 10.30.
"When will Deccan Queen go from here"?
Man Replies 12.30.
Thus Santa goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.
Santa replies, "NO. I only want to cross the tracks!"

[anny]

Bihari Babu Jokes

- A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says:
Saala pura body headache maar raha hai

- A Bihari goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets,Do tho ticket dena,
the person at the window tells him that there is a house full, so this Bihari
says koi baat nahin do house full de do.

;)

[miqsh]

This one is a great one. thought u guys would like it.

A letter from an Punjabi mother to her son.

My dear Jagjit,

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there.

I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20miles.

I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love - Mom.

P.S. Jagjit, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter

[miqsh]

Here is another one

1. What is Common between: Krishna, Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.

2. Teacher to a Sardar: A=B, B=C, So A=C, Give me an example,
Sardar: I Love You, You Love Your Daughter, So I Love your daughter.

3. Ek aadmi ki Biwi gum ho gayi, Woh RAM ke Mandir me gaya, Ram ne kaha
Baju wale Hanuman Ke Mandir mai ja, Meri bhi usi ne dhundhi thi.


5. Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone Book &
said "My Mobile No. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is
6610"

6. Santa: I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College,
Banta: Really, what is he studying, Santa : No he is not studying, They
r Studying him.

7. Chinti aur Hathi ka Prem Vivah hua. Agle Din Hathi ki Maut ho
gai...!! Chinti Boli Wah Mohabbat, EK din ka pyar hua, ab sari umra
kabra khodnemai bitegi..!!

8. Santa Banta KO 3 live bomb mile, Police KO dene chale, Santa agar koi
bomb raste mai Phat jaye to..?
Banta : Jhooth bol denge 2 hi mile the...!!!

[SunnyWang]

A teacher asked his students to write a composition "what is indolence
The next day ,after the homework handed over ,the teacher found one of them was just a piece of paper with nothing on it! The students explain :" this is indolence".

[julie]

Husband called up the hospital to ask about his pregnent wife.....
Accidently he called up the cricket stadium..
Husband : how are things...????
and he suddenly died after hearing the answer....
Reply: Fine, three are out, hope to get 7 by lunch time and yeah,the last one was duck... :p

[India1989]

lol. that is seriously funny. That was a good one.

[anny]

miqsh... Nice Joke...

:) :D

[julie]

Teacher asked Banta Singh to make one sentence in which a word is repeated 4 times.
Banta Singh- If lara dutta marries brian lara she becomes lara lara.. Bolo tararara :D

[miqsh]

:D While waiting for a bus a sardar sees a truck being towed away by
>
>another truck. He laughs, breaks down, rolls on the ground and cannot
>
>control his laughter. There is a madrasi who is standing with the
>
>sardar for the bus. He wonders what's up ? Calls sardar, but sardar
>
>cannot control himself, points at the towing truck & again rolls on
>
>the ground, billowing more dust. The madrasi appa is annoyed, pulls
>
>up sardar asks him what is so funny ? The sardar says "Kya zamana aa
>
>gaya hai, Ek rassi uthane ke liya do-do Truck" and again starts
>
>rolling.......
>
>
>
>A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
>
>approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon
>
>sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
>
>Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai
>
>lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
>
>Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he
>
>takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and
>
>asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardarji replies "Saali
>
>train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun" :D
>

[miqsh]

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,



This letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab . We have bought a computer and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice:



1) After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.



Because of this we open the e-mail account with password ******. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.



2) We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down' button.



3) There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. Please check this.



4) We find there is 'Run' in the menu. A friend of mine clicked 'run' and ran up to Amritsar! We request you to change this menu to 'Sit' so that we click whenever we want to sit.



5) One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in the system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.



6) There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the main door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this 'find' button, but unable to trace the key. Is it a bug?



7) Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect the 'mouse' from my neighbour's cat. I suggest you to please provide one dog to kill the cat.



8) My child learnt 'Microsoft Word', now he wants to learn 'Microsoft Sentence', when will you provide that.



Best Regards,

Banta Singh

[vedu]

One Generalist try to find Most popular person in world

:)
He asked to santa singh
"Who do you think most popular person in world" ?

Santa
" I am "

Generalist
"sure"

Santa
"ya ya . why not ! "

Generalist
"ok i will meet u with most popular men of world,
If they can recognize u then u will the best popular"

And Generalist took santa to some of person


1. Sonia Gandhi
"welcome santa ji, what do u prefer tea, coffy or Lassi"

2. Bill Gates
" What a pleasent surprise sir. please take lunch with me"

like this all person warm welcome to santa
but Generalist not satisfied yet

he took santa to Jarge Brush and stand with him
and ask to an American
" Are u recognise that person ? "

American:
"Ya ya I know him very well
I m his fan....
But I dont know who one stand with santa singh" :eek:

[miqsh]

A village boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move.


"Father?" asked the boy.


The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is."


While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them and into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of light with numbers above the wall light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out.


The father said to his son,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

















"Go get your Mother!"







“Some joys are better expressed in silence as a smile holds more meaning than words. Express your smile always.”

[miqsh]

Here I Take some of you time to make you little smile

Sardar1:- Marte Waqt Aadmi Ko Kya Dena Chahiye?
Sardar2:-Birla cement
Sardar1:-Kyun?
Sardar2:- Kyunki Is Cement Mein Jaan Hain
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch.
There was curd on the table. The guest asked what is this?
The Sardar didn't know English, he said "Milk sleeping in night, morning
becomes tight"
-------------------------------
Once a sardarji tries to cheat the Indian railways. He is thinking for a

novel idea. He thinks a lot and finally he did one thing, he bought the
ticket and didn't travel.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

A sardar was drawing money from ATM. The Sardar behind him in the line
said,
"Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password.
Its 4 asterisks(****). The first sardar replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r
wrong.
It's 1258."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the height of stupidity?
2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat
----------------------
Did you hear about the sardarji who is so rich he has two swimming
pools,
one of which is always empty? It's for people who can't swim!
----------------------------
Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part?
Santa Singh: All of me, of course!
---------------------
What do you call a Sardarji in a deep well?
A deep thinker..
----------------------------
Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'
Haan' replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'
---------------------------------
Once Santa Singh was riding a cycle and he suddenly hit a girl!
So girl shouted, 'Sala ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!'
And sardarji replied, 'Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se
maroon??!!!'
---------------------------
Help....
The Titanic is going to be drowned.... Everybody in the ship is
shouting,
crying, running or praying to God...
Just then an Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the ship.
Italian : How far is land, from here ?
Sardarji : Two miles ..
Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise. I have
got
the experience of swimming even more. The Italian jumps off the ship
into
the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again.
Italian : Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here?
Sardarji : Downwards......

[miqsh]

Sardar: Why are all people running?
Man: This is Race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar: If only the winner will get the cup, why r, other's running.
Sardar has twins: He named Tin , Martin
again had twins & named Peter, Repeater
again twins and named Max, climax
again a same. Disgusted sardar name them Tired & Retired.
A Sardarji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him why?
He said "Smile Please"

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: "You will go to jail."

Sardaji standing below a tubelight with a open mouth….. why?
bcoz his doctor told him, today dinner should be light.

Sardaji was fill up application form for a job he was not sure as what has to be filled in column "Salary Expected" …………. After much thought he wrote "yes".
Sardar & family go to a party he introduced himself I sardar, she sardarnee. The boy my kid & the girl my kidne.

Santa your daughter had died!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Depressed, sardar jumps from 100th floor
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!!
At 25th floor I am unmarried!!!!
At 10th floor I am not Santa.!!!!
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay about cricket match. All were busy writing except one boy sardar.
He wrote "Due to rain, no match"

Postman: I have 2 come 5 miles to deliver your packet.
Sardar: Why did u come so far!!!!, instead u could have posted!!!!!!

What does a sardar do after taking a xerox???
He will compare it with original for any spelling mistakes!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sardar proposed a girl…… Girl said I'm elder to you….
sardar said no problem !!! suniye I'll marry u next year.

Sardar & his wife buy coffe in a shop. Sardar say …..Drink quickly wife ask why? He says hot coffee 5rs cold coffee 10rs.
A sardar & his wife filled a divorce case how'll you divide? You have 3 children? Sardar said ok! We'll apply next year!!!!!!!!!!!
Sardar at an art gallery: I suppose his horrible looking thing is what you call a modern art.
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir that's a mirror

A man asked sardarji why manmohan goes walking at evening not in the morning. sardar replied " Arebhai manmohan is PM and not AM

[miqsh]

4 men - a Marathi, Bengali, Gujrati and our Santa were being interviewed for a top job. With nothing to choose between them, the President told them over dinner that the decisive test would be carried out the following morning, with each candidate being asked the same question and the best answer would get them the job.

The next morning, first up was the Marathi. "Here`s your question," said the President, "What`s the fastest thing in the world?"
Without hesitation, he replied "A thought, because it takes no time at all."
"Very good answer," said the President.

Next up was the Gujrati, "What`s the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president.
"A blink," replied the Texan almost instantaneously, "cos you don`t think about a blink. It`s a reflex."
"Good answer," replied the president.

Next was the Bengali, "What`s the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president.
The Bengali thought for a moment, "Electricity, because you can flip a switch and 20 miles away a light will go on immediately."
"That`s a great answer," replied the president.

Finally, it was our Santa`s turn. "What`s the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president.
Scratching his head Santa replied: "Diarrhoea, because last night after dinner I was lying on my bed when I got these awful stomach pains and before I could think, blink or turn on the light....."

[miqsh]

Srdr: I haven't slept all night in the train.
Frnd: why?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Why didn't you exchange seats?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody to exchange with in
the lower berth.. :D



A Teacher lecturing on population - In India
after Every 10 sec a Woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!. :D




Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out,
climbs tree, sits on the Branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.
Srdr:"I've been promoted to branch manager."


One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to
his college.
Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question
paper is leaking...

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s Already raining.
Sardar: So what, take an umbrella and go.



Sardar's wish :when i die, I wana die like my
grandpa who died Peacefully in his sleep,
not screaming like all the passengers in the car
he was driving.. :D




Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says 'CHIN YU YAN' and dies.
Srdr goes to china to find meaning of his
friend's last words.
. it is : 'YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN PIPE !!" :D




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[miqsh]

What will you do if a sardarji throws a grenade at you? ans. Just pull the pin and throw it back at him!


Nikhil: Do you know where most sardars are found.
Ankush:No
Nikhil:In jokes


Santa:Banta,tell me a joke in two words.
Banta: ganja sardar(bald sardar)!!!


Ram,Shyam and Santa Singh died. When they went up to the clouds,Ram and Shyam were asked to go to Heaven and Santa to hell.
Santa also wanted to go to Heaven and after a lot of pleading,he somehow managed to ask the Judge to have a test in the subjects English,maths and History.
In the English test Ram was asked to spell "cat",Shyam to spell "rat" and santa was asked "Thiruvanthapuram". Santa fainted.
Next day,in Math test, Ram was asked to the table of 2. Shyam, table of 5 and Santa was asked table of 59. Santa fainted again.
In History test, Ram was asked "How many world war has taken place?" He answered "2".
Shyam was asked, "How many people died in second world war?"
He answered "about one million".
Santa was asked to name the people who died in second world war. Santa died again.

what is the height of foolishness? ans.a girl having a bath in atransparent glass bathroom and santa banta fighting to peep through the key hole :D

One day Santa Singh and his friend entered a dark room.
Santa : Search for the Bulb!!
Friend( holding Santa's Pagri) : Got the bulb.
Santa : Where is the Switch?
Friend ( pressing Santa's nose ) : Found it.
Santa was annoyed and gave a tight slap to his friend .
Friend : Now even Current has also started flowing. :D


Once there was a competition held that one who can stay in a room with a pig for 20 days will be awarded Rs 15 lakhs. So 1st a pilot went to stay with him but after 2 days he came out saying I can't stay there.
Then an astrologer went he stayed there for 5 days and then came out saying I cant stay there.
Now Santa went in there and stayed there for 5, 6, 7, 8,9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 days.On the 15th day when the people out of the room were very excited to meet santa, the pig came out saying I cant stay there. :D :D

[miqsh]

Santa singh was failing in his maths exam for the past 5 years and the teachers there wanted to get him passed some how.So they decided that in the next exam they will ask him a very easy question.
On the day of the exam which was held in a huge auditorium where there were many of his sardar friends he was called on the stage and asked. "What is 2+2 ?"
Santa Singh thougth for a long time and finally said 4.
On his answer all his sardar friends stood up and shouted "PLEASE GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE".

what is common between alliens and intelligent sardars? ans. You have only heard or imagined about them but never seen or met them!

Once a man saw Santa digging a hole and Banta filling it.He got confused and went to ask them.
Man:Why are you doing so?
Santa :We are 3 people Santa,Banta & Tanta.
My work is to dig the hole, Tanta's work is to plant a seed and Banta's work is to fill the hole.Today Tanta has taken a leave so why should we stop our work.


WHY COULDN'T SANTA MAKE ICE CUBES? BECAUSE HE DIDN'T KNOW THE RECIPE.

Santa- "My grandfather is so forgetful that he puts his walking stick on the bed and stands in the corner of his room."
Banta- "That is nothing. my grandfather is so forgetful that he spits pan on his bed and jumps out of the window!

[megrisoft]

once a boy ask,s his father, papa log jab shadi kara lete ha to rote kyo ha ,vo shadi karte hi kyo ha
father, beta akal badam khane se nahi ,thokar khane se ati ha

[megrisoft]

jo dil me dard deta ha use dildar kehte ha jo sar me dard deta ha use sardar kehte ha

[India1989]

wow those are great jokes.

[rajesh]

yaar this santa-banta is popular....

[sajal]

Q: Whats the similarity between a dinosour and a smart sardar?
A: Both are extinct ...


LMAO

[YOUTH INDIA]

Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn." :D Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we
had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same
every time. he tries to sleep,one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a
sound "guooonn, guooonn."
He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito
falling into deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says
"Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn." :D

[megrisoft]

Bihari-Sardar A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop. Finally the bus arrives and he gets in. The bus is fully loaded with sardarjis. One sardarji orders Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks he's in big trouble because he knows only sardar jokes! After thinking for some time he decides to substitute all references to 'sardars' in his joke with 'Biharis'. He starts the jokes with, "There was once a Bihari..." And suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from one of the sardarjis who shouts, "Kyon be! Sab sardar mar gaye hai kya?"


Wrong Answer Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at DEMAN CONSTRUCTION office in Amritsar. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both
applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager Mr. Arvin Singh. Upon completion of the test, the results showed that both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Santa and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to Reddy". Santa: And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Punjab I should get the job!" Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one question that you got wrong. "Santa: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" Manager: "Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put down 'I don't know' as the answer. And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"

[viru]

Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all." He unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"


One fine day a girl proposed to a sardar and the sardar denied simply saying that - "in our family we marry only with our relatives: my grandfather married my grandmother, my mom married my dad, my brother married my bhabhi, my sister married my jijajee, my uncle married my aunt and so on. so please excuse me."

[megrisoft]

Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out of the hall. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, to which he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I really thought, thought, thought hard... and at last wrote - THUNK "

[viru]

santa:why are you crying

banta:they cut my finger for my blood test

santa:i have come for my urine test.

banta:?????????

[neha khanna]

sardarji ordered a chicken.
sardar ji asked the waiter:oye, Murge di tang kithe hai?
waiter:sardarji, murga langda si.
sardarji:oye, dil to hoga.
waiter:dil murgi le gayi.
sardarji:oye, dimag to hoga.
waiter:murga sardar si!

[viru]

Nice Very Nice Joke!

[Lucky]

Lect: "Gandhi jayanti par ek essay likna hai"
Santa: Ok
Next day
Lect: Essay likha
Santa: Gandhi ji hamrae liye bahut kuch kiya hai But
MAA KASAM I DON'T KNOW "JAYANTI" :)

[India1989]

ncie joke people. keep it up.

[priyapatel]

Lect: "Gandhi jayanti par ek essay likna hai"
Santa: Ok
Next day
Lect: Essay likha
Santa: Gandhi ji hamrae liye bahut kuch kiya hai But
MAA KASAM I DON'T KNOW "JAYANTI" :)

He He He , very nice

[punjabi_munda]

Santa to Banta- Punjab me logon ko mor se pyar nahi hai kya?
Banta to Santa- kyon???
Santa-Aaj ke news me tha 20 MORE killed in PUNJAB!!! :)

[funforwards]

poor sardarjee....

http://funforwards.googlepages.com/5.htm

[iamindian]

sardarji ordered a chicken.
sardar ji asked the waiter:oye, Murge di tang kithe hai?
waiter:sardarji, murga langda si.
sardarji:oye, dil to hoga.
waiter:dil murgi le gayi.
sardarji:oye, dimag to hoga.
waiter:murga sardar si!

uhh..yea, this isn't funny by the way.
wacky

[iamindian]

all these jokes are old. Do you have another jokes, lets say that are not related to sardarjees ??

[iamindian]

I can understand that these are jokes, but reading jokes about sardarji over and over and over again will eventually cause them to be perceived as true by readers. And sardarji is very direct towards all sikhs, whereas santa & banta are just names. So...
By the way, are you sure you are a Sikh?

[priaesta]

Santa came to Banta's house and asked Banta, "Agar tu mughe ye bataa de ki, mere is tokari me kya hai, to sare ke sare ande tere.
Agar tu mughe ye bataa de ki, isme kitne hai, to 8 ke 8 ande tere.
Agar tu mughe ye bataa de ki, yeh sabhi kiske hai, to woh murgi bhi teri."

At this Banta became very confused and said, "Oye yaar, barra mushkil sawal hai, koi hint to de de!"

Megri Jokes (http://megri.com/jokes/)


hahahahaha

[funnytshirts]

Nice Santa Banta banter - keep it coming!

[hs3982]

-Once a hindu was standing infront of a Ram's idol and weeping very badly
-Santa singh saw him and asked why are u crying
-Hindu replied, "my wife is missing and I am unable to find her anywhere".
-Santa singh laughed badly and said to that hindu, "If your wife is missing then what are you doing in a Ram's temple ? He was not able to find his own wife.
Go to Hanuman's temple, he is the one who found Ram's wife maybe he can help you. :eek:

[miqsh]

lol u have dissed hinduism... nice one...

[miqsh]

all these jokes are old. Do you have another jokes, lets say that are not related to sardarjees ??


that is dumb as u are in the santa banta section...look elsewhere

[jitendersemwal]

I found this forum on santa banta is very good and very funny and I’m looking forward some more good jokes.

__________________________________________________ _______________


[/URL][URL="http://www.myringtoneshub.com/"]
(http://www.florist-flowers-roses-delivery.com/arizona/phoenix_az.html)

[vk.net]

An actress was filling up a form. There was a column in the form where one was required
to state marital status," Married / Unmarried".
And she wrote: "Occasionally Married".

[jitendrakumar]

HI

Ek baar exam me question aaya challenge kise kahte he,,,,,,?
?
?
?

To ek sardar ne puri answer sheet blank chhod di aur last page pe likha

himmat he to pass kar ke dikha.
jitendra kumar


__________________________________________________ ______________






[/URL][URL="http://www.myringtoneshub.com/specials/buy-cell-phone-ringtones.htm"]
(http://www.florist-flowers-roses-delivery.com/texas/houston_tx.html)