Marriage

[Lalita Joshi]

Hi,

"Marriages are made in heaven"

Tell me in your views how far this statement is true.

[usha]

Dear Lalita,
Your message says you are still unmarried !!!
Because then you must have not talked of heaven.
All the best.

[Vijay]

Dear Lalita,

Tips for you:

People often dream of the wonderful life they'll have once they're married. It is heaven if we can adjust ourselves to our partner and stop thinking that our partner has to adjust with us. A wife is not a partner of her husband in life rather she is his companion. Their living together is not based on partnership and they are not forced to live it all their lives. Rather, their living together is based on companionship and they become complete companions of each other in all respects.

A proper understanding of this will often remove misconceptions about the nature of marriage and its place in Humans society. Its a hell if both are possessing egos and superiority complex, but of course they can separate themselves at any time so there is a hope of better life. The worst thing is one who just act like a king and the partner is just acting/treated like a slave, that's common in our community, its better to not get married than leading this kind of life. I meant it for both genders why we waste our life with such nasty habits. We should know our personality and like the saying "Give Respect and Take Respect". We are all equal, equal in every aspect if we act like that in our life not in this kind of forum/virtual life we will say it ourselves "Life is Beautiful"

That's it its my opinion about marriage and I strictly will abide to what I said in my life, with out some creative ideas what's the meaning of a married life then!!!


Best wishes,
Vijay

[Lalita Joshi]

Dear Vijay,

Thanks,
I have only one word to say about your thoughts "Great?"

[lilbit]

and have some common ground and share the same love for life. Do things together regardless how small. When first together you want to spend time together. If it is not like that from the beginning then it will later cause problems I believed. Someone I was with, I wanted to spend all my time with him, then later in life when I got use to not spending time with him, he then wanted to spend time with me. It was too late then. Perhaps that doesn't always happen. It did for me.

[Krishna]

Never get married

[meenakshi]

Hi friends,

Is marriage such a bad idea?

I am happily married to a wonderful soulmate.



Meenakshi
malayali.co.uk

[searchsaathi.com]

Ofcourse not. Marriage is not at all a Bad Idea. Its just that few people expect a lot from this institution.

My suggestion would be - Dont expect anything.. you will definitely get everything :))

[sunil]

Humm! Very complicated question, I can't answer at the moment But I can do one thing for you, I will give you a call after my marriage (http://www.indiabook.com/cgi-bin/links/search.cgi?query=matrimonial) and tell you that whether they are made in Heaven or Hell?

[Shayri]

First of all, Vijay... Great Words. I hope you do abide by it.

About marriage....whether they are made in heaven or not, I don't know. But I do know that even if they are made in heaven, their durability depends entirely on us.

I have been married over a year. My husband and I are both very independent by nature and quite stubborn. In some people's case this could have been a disaster, but with us, because we are both independent, we understand each other's need for freedom in life. We are very much in love, and good friends, but we both also have our seperate hobbies and interests, as our personalities are greatly different. We fight and we argue too. But at the end of the day we both love each other, and respect each other. The main thing I believe some couples forget is that just because you are married, does not mean you are not your own person anymore. Married or not, we are who we are, and our partner needs to accept and respect that.

[sunilkumar]

hey ,

Basic question was are Marriages made in heaven?
===>Marriage are made in heaven .... coz its not necessay that to whom you love you will marry it totally depends on the situation in life... life is not in our control and if some one say then he/she is stupid ....
Note :- All individual on this earth have there own chracter. We think that nobody can affect our feeling and life but as we are social we have to intract with other so call social human being who can hurt our feeling or you can hurt their feeling...

[sunil]

Hmmm! Well said Sunil! I appreciate :)

[venky]

Im agnostic to god, religion etc. So any assumption of heaven or hell that is distinct from earthly life is beyond my comprehension. Marriages are made on earth :)

[PlayBoy]

There is God and marriage are made in Heaven .... other wise venky would have married his x-gal friend ...

[sunil]

Venky my friend don't worry there is someone special waiting for you. :) Forget your past [i know it's very tough to forget all those moments] But I adivce you to do that. You will definitely get a nice Girl very soon. :)

[megrisoft]

Marriages are made in heaven tested on earth

[sunilkumar]

We are talking here Heaven, Hell marriage but fact nobody knows how heaven and hell is....

If people get right life partner then they are in heaven other wise their life is hell.. :D

[Playboy2]

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering.

[India1989]

haha lol. that's what i call a joke now.

[crazy.foryoursmile]

well from my point of view its all about Destiny. and who wrote our destiny? ofcourse god.. love, success, marriege, and everything else just depends on destiny. no matter how hard u try but if u dont have luck and ur destiny never wants to make that happen then its not going to make any diff how hard you try.. it's all about destiny. i will post u more about destiny later on..

[sunilkumar]

Please don't depend totally on your destiny ....

In Geeta It is written karma kartey jaao

so do your work don't depend on destiny if you will work properly you will achive your goal.... Destiny is in your hand you can change your destiny by your own deeds

[crazy.foryoursmile]

truly said brother

but still its depends only on destiny.. because hard work needs luck too
and one time two time.. but always and in everything.. then what would you say? right now i cant write clearly.. but later on i'll surely write more on this topic..

[invisible]

I agree with Sunil but not with Crazy. Hard Work don't need luck at all. If you are hardworker, of course you are gonna get it. You just need confidence on yourself. Destiny has nothing to do with anyithing. about Karma yes you do karma in this life and you pay for it that's all which is totally different from destiny coz you did it and you get result. And yea Destiny has nothing to do with your marriage. It depends on yourself. How you choose someone and how you live with her or him. It depends on you only. There is nothing like Destiny or luck. There is only one thing that exist and thats you and you ONLY.

[Priyanka]

In case of marriage I think destiny has to play its part ... But this is also true ..."don't depend totally on your destiny ..." Destiny can be changed by hardwork ... you can impress any one and make them fall in love with u but all individual are different so in long run character attitude understanding etc. matter not destiny .....

[venky]

Destiny, Karma, God - these are all different beliefs that appeal to majority of population. I dont subscribe to any such beliefs. Im consciously trying to get rid of these obstacles to truth. (Truth warrants a separate discussion)

Marriage, just like anything else, is a matter of chance. You make a judgement and go with it in the hope that it will click.

Hardwork increases the possibilities for success - as seen by the person doing the hardwork and as seen by rest of the world. Now this duality of person and rest of the world may not be accurate - especially if you think interms of non-duality or advaita.

Thank you Sunil for your wishes :)

[sunilkumar]

Venky what is truth as per You?

Death is the universal truth.... which is applicable to earth sun star and other galaxy also ...:)
currently we all are living so we have to play our part on this earth...we can choose to be saint or like other human being with family....

Relative distance between nucleus and electron, proton is bigger than earth and sun so if single atom of particle is perfect than our galaxy is also perfect...

We are human being we have brain with body structure to explore things of earth and to do R&D (research and development) so we have to do our work.... we have to think in this way ….if I will not able to see the truth hopefully other human being will see... we don't know which asteroid will going to collide with earth.... The day it will happen we all will finish... other thing is that moon is going away from the earth every year so we don't know how earth is going to rotate so there will be great change in atmosphere of earth we don't know how human race will going to survive in such situation… So truth is more dangerous than fiction and it is beyond our scope… we explore and explore things and we come to new conclusions which are true….

Chanda(Moon) ko esay hee MAMA(maternal uncle) nahi bolajataa hai … Earth is mother and moon is brother…

We have to believe God is there
G-Generator
O-Operator
D-Destroyer

Some unknown power is GOD which is created by human being so that people can have faith in life they must have hope they must afraid of doing wrong things.

Destiny is luck …50 - 50..but when some thing is planned and proper karma (hard work) is done than in 99% case we can beat destiny.

I know truth is beyond win.... but i want to win....
Sunilkumar

[venky]

Sunil,

I dont know what is truth. It 'seems' that finding truth is a journey.
Death, birth, spinning of earth etc are 'observed' phenomena. Is an 'observed' phenomena truth? May be.. or may be not... or to some extent !?

Everybody has beliefs. People following established religions have their beliefs organized in specific ways. In west I heard some devout christians saying 'Christ' is the savior and human race is created from Adam. Some hindus say that brahma is the creator, vishnu is the executor and shiva is the destroyer. Religions organize information for people consumption in specific ways to inculcate and sustain belief systems. Many people may 'seemingly' get self content, righteousness, virtuousness etc by following these religions. Different religions try to establish different balance and checks against morality. One can find many similarities in these checks as well.

Irrespective of whether a human follows an 'organized' religion or not or follows to some extent, he/she is capable of thinking beyond the ordinary - and this 'seems' to be the root cause for human evolution.

There is also this thought process that there has to be something powerful, omniscient, omnipotent. This thought could be perhaps due to the fact that we dont understand many things or we 'perceive' that there has to be something powerful to explain the complexity of life.

Science doesnt answer all the questions, neither religion does. Whatever science answers today may not seem a correct answer tomorrow (think of people saying earth is flat 300 years ago).

The words used: 'seems', 'observed', 'perceived' etc are based on relative state of the environment consisting of possibly inseparable observer and observed. Is that an observer 'observed' the truth? Certainly the observer may believe so. What value such a truth has for others who can not 'observe' the truth the same way?

Bottomline is: I dont know what truth is.

While seeking truth, I dont think there should exist a tendency to avoid any human responsibilities, phases, social interactions, anything else thats 'considered' part of life. Zen philosophy has some interesting koans on this line of thought.

I strongly suggest we should have a separate thread for this line of discussion :)