Windows 95 Source code

[sajal]

Windows 95 source code leaked!!!


/*
TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
Project: Chicago(tm)

Projected release-date:
Summer 1994, Spring 1995

*/

#include <stdio.h>;
#include <dos.h>
#include <conio.h>
#include "win31.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"


/*
Reference:
Internal memo #99281-95 from:
William H. Gates III
to:
Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project

William H. Gates III wrote:
"I have seriouu doubts about the 'EASY' installation-definition. It
might prevent customers to think that they actually bought something
_good_. Therefore I want the installation-definition to be 'HARD'.

Carry on,
God Bill
"
*/
#define INSTALL = HARD

void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if(first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if(still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}

/*
Reference:
Internal memo #99683-95 from:
Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project
to:
William H. Gates III

Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project wrote:
"Dear Sir,
Since we have found that this last piece of code within the
'if'-statement will never execute, we descided NOT to include it in
the final code. This way we will save atleast another 5 megabytes of
consumer-diskspace!

Thank you for listening to us,
the executive managers of the Chicago(tm)-project
"
*/

/*
if(still_not_crashed)
{
write_cheer();
finished();
}
*/

create_general_protection_fault();
}

Stolen from : http://fsinfo.cs.uni-sb.de/~abe/windoof.html

[alpha]

Subject: *** TOP SECRET MICROSOFT CODE ***
Microsoft marketing strategy (MARKET.EXE):

#include <nonsense.h>
#include <lies.h>
#include <spyware.h> /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */
#include <process.h> /* For the court of law */

#define say(x) lie(x)
#define computeruser ALL_WHO_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE
#define next_year soon
#define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version

void main()
{
if (latest_window_version>one_month_old)
{
if (there_are_still_bugs)
market(bugfix);
if (sales_drop_below_certain_point)
raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION);
}
while(everyone_chats_about_new_version)
{
make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking,it_will _be_3D);
/* Standard Call, inlie.h */
if (rumours_grow_wilder)
make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_pray);
if (rumours_grow_even_wilder)
{
market_time=ripe;
say("It will be ready in one month);
order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version);
order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version);
order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense);
vapourware=TRUE;
break;
}
}
switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress)
{
case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY:
say("It will be ready in", today+30_days," we're just testing");
break;
case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PRAY_THING_WORK:
say("Yes it will work");
ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work);
pretend(there_is_no_problem);
break;
case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS:
say("It will run on lightning speed due to"
" the 64 bits architecture");
inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh");
inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant"
"'cos all those customers will need at least 32 megs");
inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple");
get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM); break;
case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE:
say("Oh no, we are just here to make a better world for
everyone");
register(journalist, Big_Bill_Book);
when(time_is_ripe) {
arrest(journalist);
brainwash(journalist);
when(journalist_says_windows95_is_bugfree) {
order(journalist, "write a nice objective article");
release (journalist);
}
}
break;
}
while (vapourware)
{
introduction_date++; /* Delay */
if (no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release)
break;
say("It will be ready in",today+ONE_MONTH);
}
release(beta_version)
while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware)
{
bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks;
release(new_and_even_better_beta_version);
introduce(more_memory_requirements);
if (customers_report_installation_problems)
{
say("that is a hardware problem, not a software problem");
if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_pra y)
{ ignore(customer); order(microsoft_intelligence_agency,
"Keep an eye on this bastard");
}
}
}
if (there_is_another_company)
{
steal(their_ideas);
accuse(compagny, stealing_our_ideas);
hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */
wait(until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_law suit);
buy_out(other_company);
}
}
/* Now everyone realizes that we sell bugware and they are all angry at
us */
order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard);
buy(nice_little_island); hire(harem);
laugh_at(everyone,
for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_anothe r_unfinished_version); }


void bugfix(void)
{
charge (a_lot_of_money)
if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix)
say("It is not a bugfix but a new version");
if (still_complaints)
{
ignore(customer);
register(customer, big_Bill_book);
/* We'll get him when everyone uses Billware!!*/
}